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Arkādijs Pancs 1955-2013
Riga, Latvia
psychoanalyst, psychotherapist and psychiatrist

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The most popular questions to ask Psychotherapist or Psychoanalyst

Why can not I handle my problems myself?

We have enough of great possibilities to handle our problems ourselves. For example, we could think about it carefully. Or we could discuss it with an intelligent person. Or we could read something interesting. There are so many wise and deep, merry and excellent books published in the world, which help us to understand ourselves and life itself. There are some magazines which gives good practical advises how we could cope with our stress or excitement, or fear, or any unpleasant life situations, how to settle out psychological problems. And for many of us it is enough to read about it, to find out, to choose, to apply it in order we could feel changes for better.

But sometimes our problem is serious and deep, and we personally can’t find out its decision due to our birth or upbringing peculiarities, so thinking about it just drive us into despair. Somebody’s advices are not useful and we answer from the very beginning- “it is not for me, I want to hear only what I want to hear”. And it doesn’t matter how many wise books we read, nothing is good for us, they seems for us foolish. Or we like all the advices and the book, but we can’t use it because our character doesn’t let us to do it. And then a question arouses: why not to use a professional assistance in order not to suffer, not to beat the wall, not to knock at the closed door and to repeat one and the same mistake with a maniac persistence?       

Why being in a conflict or complicated or sad situation, I can’t use my friend’s assistance, but I should visit a Psychotherapist?

If you are in a complicated situation you can and it is good to ask your friends for assistance. In most cases your conversation with them would give you a relief, consolation and emotional relax. It is great if you have friends who help you to solve your doubts, to find out a way from a complicated situation. But not always we want to burden our friends with our own difficulties because of the fact that they could become concerned about us. In some cases the problem is so serious that we can’t avoid a professional assistance of a specialist, for example, we can’t take our friend’s help to treat pneumonia, but we call for a physician. It is enough for us if a friend would be compassionate, if he/she visits us, brings us food, holds our hand. A friend and Psychotherapist are not competitors. And in the case when you would ask for an assistance of a professional, your friends will be in any case with you, and they help you by a word and action as well.    

What does it mean- a life crisis? ?

It is such an event, when facing it, all your past experience doesn’t work any more, and you don’t know and understand how to live further. A childbirth may be a crisis for a young woman and she is asking herself such questions as “What I will do with it, why do I have it, how I could handle it? “ When she is at her mature age and children leave the family, she is asking herself: “Do I need my husband any longer? What I am doing together with him? Why do I need all that?” The most frequent reason having a crisis for a man of any age, and it may seems strange, is not a work, but breaking off relations with his woman, even in those cases when he leaves her himself. It is interesting that a man reject the real reason of his crisis on public, and states that he is under “stress moment” because he has problems in his work. But his working problems are just caused by this crisis! If a woman is in crisis because of a divorce, her difference from a man is included in the fact that she understands the reason perfectly, and never hides the truth from herself. We can find a way out from a crisis only with one thing- to obtain new life experience and to put new aims in front of us.

We often call a crisis any kind of misfortune – an illness or our close relative’s death. But this is not so true. In order to overpass misfortune, we need forces and time. But not always it requires new experience. Usually it takes us a year to overpass a misfortune. If it has passed more than a year and a half from the moment of a loss or a divorce, and a person is not able to live normal life and to feel happiness, it is time to visit a professional in order to understand the reason and how to cope with it.  

Why does Psychoanalyst need a couch?

A patient during a session lies on a couch in order he/she can be relaxed completely, and follow his/her thoughts easily and to talk about all comes into his/her head. When he/she sits opposite the physician, he/she has to look into physician’s face in any case and he/she tries to meet with doctor’s approval and to find a support, or vice versa- blame and non-acceptance, and he/she changes his/her behavior accordingly. When a patient lies on a couch, he/she doesn’t see anybody and is communicating with somebody imaginary. Patient’s sub-consciousness substitutes such invisible interlocutor sometimes by his/her mother, or father, or boss, or wife, and in his/her speech he/she addresses directly to them expressing himself/herself frankly, easily with no boundaries, or being vice versa, finding out in himself/herself lack of any possibility to trust somebody or to be together with others, even with the closest person. The couch allows a patient to immerse in a trance and meditate, setting out his/her consciousness free from any burdens while speaking.

Why Psychoanalyst works with a patient almost every day?

Psychoanalyst meets with a patient four-five times a week in order the patient will have enough time to discuss together with a Psychoanalyst all problems in his/her life for their fullest and deepest mutual understanding.

Could you become dependent on your Psychotherapist or Psychoanalyst?

We “become dependent” from all which helps us to feel ourselves good, it may be a cup of morning coffee or visiting a fitness club. And sometimes we call “dependence” our ability to feel our favor or liking to anybody who supports us and who gives us a high quality of life- it may be a family doctor, or experienced masseur, or hairdresser, or our friends and kind colleagues. A typical feature of such “dependence” from your Psychotherapist or Psychoanalyst will pass, when the process of healing is finished, and many other nice and good things happen and appear in a patient’s life, such as new friends, love, happiness, success in work, creativity.   

What for do we need Psychotherapy.

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Let’s make a conclusion: when do you need to contact Psychotherapist or Psychoanalyst

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The most popular questions to ask Psychotherapist or Psychoanalyst

Why can not I handle my problems myself? We have enough of great possibilities to handle our problems ourselves. For example, we could think about it carefully. Or we could discuss it with an intelligent person. Or we could read something ...

What is the difference between Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy

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